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id="wsstnmvt" class="comment-qa"></span><em>評論</em></a></span><span id="wsstnmvt" class="views"><i class="be be-eye ri"></i>136</span><span id="wsstnmvt" class="word-time"></span></span></div><span id="wsstnmvt" class="s-hide" title="側(cè)邊欄"><span id="wsstnmvt" class="off-side"></span></span><div id="wsstnmvt" class="single-content"><div id="wsstnmvt" class="bpp-post-content"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">悄I悄I告I訴I你I們<p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">燃心</span><span id="wsstnmvt" class="beupset20">文章源自懂愛網(wǎng)-http://www.motor-park.com.cn/210977.html</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">BURNING HEART</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">關(guān)I注I我I走I好I運(yùn)<p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">你好，親愛的</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">Best wishes for you</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">▼<p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">△<p style="text-align: center;margin: 0px;padding: 0px">點(diǎn) 擊音頻收聽</span><p style="text-align: left;clear: none;margin: 0px;padding: 0px">第430篇</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">01<p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">國內(nèi)響當(dāng)“屌絲逆襲”神化主人公俞敏洪被拉下水了，因?yàn)橛崂蠋熣f錯(cuò)了一句話，“現(xiàn)在是因?yàn)橹袊缘膲櫬鋵?dǎo)致整個(gè)國家的墮落”，隨后就被刷屏罵成狗了。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">燃心先從心理學(xué)角度上說下自己的觀點(diǎn)，當(dāng)然這跟主題可能有點(diǎn)跑偏，但是我希望自己的公眾號是能正導(dǎo)人的思維方向，而不只是為了蹭一下熱點(diǎn)。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">我們必須得承認(rèn)一點(diǎn)，人類精神文明建設(shè)還沒那么高端，遠(yuǎn)古時(shí)期都說是女權(quán)社會，這個(gè)是不是咱不較真兒，但是自有歷史以來都是男權(quán)社會，一直到現(xiàn)在也是，現(xiàn)實(shí)就是現(xiàn)實(shí)。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">雖然國外國內(nèi)都有過幾次女權(quán)運(yùn)動，但只是追回了一點(diǎn)懸殊度，主體上仍然是男權(quán)社會無疑。這話說完可能會挨噴，但是做學(xué)問這件事你必須得摒棄情緒，情緒通常只在高興時(shí)刻是有益的。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">在男權(quán)社會下有一個(gè)非常有意思的事情，那就是男女比例的問題，因?yàn)檫@個(gè)問題跟女性是否開放有關(guān)。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">當(dāng)男女比例里女性數(shù)量明顯高于男性的時(shí)候，男權(quán)社會下通常要求女人三從四德保持忠貞，比如婚前不能有性活動之類的。換句話說，男性會對女性要求更多一些。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">當(dāng)男女比例里女性數(shù)量明顯低于男性的時(shí)候，男權(quán)社會下通常號召女人性開放之類的，比如宣揚(yáng)我們該去享受性，一些不可描述的事兒。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">做學(xué)問通常要一些實(shí)地證據(jù)，燃心也舉例一個(gè)，在美國在上個(gè)世紀(jì)那個(gè)朋克時(shí)代倡導(dǎo)過性開放，在那個(gè)時(shí)代也是出現(xiàn)了女性比例小于男性的狀態(tài)。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">如果你是80后或是90后早期的小伙伴，你應(yīng)該也聽說過“老外比較開放”的說法，而且一直延續(xù)至今，可是現(xiàn)在真的還是這樣么？</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">事實(shí)是，現(xiàn)在的美國女性要保守的多，已經(jīng)不像是之前大家想的那個(gè)樣子，相反國人女性的開放程度要大的多，這點(diǎn)可以去各種媒體渠道去查下。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">出生人口性別比是反映一定時(shí)期內(nèi)出生人口男女比例的人口指標(biāo)，正常范圍是103至107<p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">燃心去翻閱了下2017年國人男女比例，男性是71137萬人，女性是67871萬人，男女比例是104.81:100，女性比例已經(jīng)開始拉下不小差距了。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">這種情況就會促使一種婚姻的賣方（女）市場發(fā)生。</span>既然女人少了，那么女人在婚姻時(shí)候的選擇權(quán)和男方陪送東西的議價(jià)權(quán)就高了，既然男人那么多，我可選余地也多，我當(dāng)然要多要求一些東西。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">男性直接就發(fā)明了一個(gè)詞“拜金”來諷刺女性的不當(dāng)要求</span>，而俞老師說“女性的墮落導(dǎo)致整個(gè)國家的墮落”跟這個(gè)事情是脫不開干系的。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">燃心希望大家能明白，我們的思想通常是環(huán)境造成的，平白無故不會平生什么想法，俞老師的說法不過是廣大男同胞一種對于求偶成本情緒的發(fā)泄。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">你想啊，女人越來越拜金了，可選擇的多了，就會嫌貧愛富，既然自己是香餑餑那更會在婚后生活里目中無人，要求更多，落實(shí)在現(xiàn)實(shí)里就是會顯得更好吃懶做。再說一個(gè)詞兒“剁手”實(shí)際上也是這種狀態(tài)的一種時(shí)代表現(xiàn)，燃心相信一定是男人發(fā)明的。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">02<p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">好了，燃心叨叨完這件事發(fā)生的內(nèi)在邏輯后開始說下跟這個(gè)話題有關(guān)的事兒，我們經(jīng)常會在感情里因?yàn)橐痪湓捵寣Ψ缴鷼怆y受甚至分手，這事兒絕對不在少數(shù)。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">當(dāng)然這里要確定一件事，任何分手都不可能是一件事造成的，感情指數(shù)有一個(gè)屬性，那就是感情指數(shù)無論是上升還是下降，都有時(shí)間周期，瞬間的上升和下降是不存在的。</span></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">懂了這個(gè)核心原理，就更容易明白我下面講的一個(gè)感情案例。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">小王跟小麗在一起談了一年多的時(shí)間了，一切都還好，也是奔著結(jié)婚談戀愛的那種，雙方也都見過彼此的父母，但是兩個(gè)人有一個(gè)矛盾始終夾在中間，那就是要不要回家鄉(xiāng)發(fā)展的問題。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">兩個(gè)人都是IT民工，來自上海的北漂，上海的貿(mào)易行業(yè)比較發(fā)達(dá)，但是跟IT搭邊的科技行業(yè)還是在北京比較合適。</span>小麗作為一個(gè)媽寶回家心比較重；</span>小王事業(yè)心比較強(qiáng)，一心想自己做個(gè)公司然后在北京投融，這件事是一直懸而未解的問題。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">那天，小王跟小麗正在飯店改善伙食，小王收到一個(gè)電話，公司領(lǐng)導(dǎo)準(zhǔn)備提升小王當(dāng)項(xiàng)目經(jīng)理，接完電話趕緊跟女友小麗分享這事兒，小麗知道這事對自己想回家發(fā)展的想法是不利的，就沒好氣的說了一句要命的話</span>“你想去就去，有啥好高興的?！?/span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">其實(shí)這話平時(shí)聽了是無所謂的話，但是在這個(gè)節(jié)骨眼上簡直就是冰火兩重天，一邊是因?yàn)樯毤有降钠诖?，一邊是小麗冷若冰霜的言語，放在一塊小王不就炸了。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">小王一開始并沒吱聲，繼續(xù)悶頭玩手機(jī)，過了沒幾秒，小王一個(gè)猛子站起來直接把手機(jī)給摔了，然后頭也不回的就一個(gè)人走了，剩下小麗一地雞毛。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">隨后冷戰(zhàn)了沒幾天，小麗憋不住了去找小王示弱，小王不怎么理會，又過了一個(gè)月，小王把小麗給甩了，兩個(gè)人正式宣告分手。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">在這件因?yàn)橐痪湓拰?dǎo)致的分手類型里，通常有兩個(gè)因素是必然出現(xiàn)的：</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">1.兩個(gè)人長期沒有調(diào)和的矛盾。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">2.這個(gè)矛盾持續(xù)的時(shí)間足夠長。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">這事兒一發(fā)生，就像是一根火柴點(diǎn)燃了一堆炸藥，噼里啪啦的讓你根本還沒反應(yīng)過來。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">更多有過親身經(jīng)歷的人總是會抱著這件事我做錯(cuò)了，我不該說那句話的心態(tài)去挽回，結(jié)局通常是把前任搞的越來越對你冰冷殘忍。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">因?yàn)槭虑楦静皇浅鲈谀且患虑樯?，而是長期的矛盾積怨，</span>你只是逮著那一件事說事兒是徒勞的，有人可能會說，那如果我妥協(xié)了，我答應(yīng)小王留在北京發(fā)展會不會好些？</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">不好意思，這事兒就跟你在雙11網(wǎng)購一樣，剛才說好了100塊錢賣您，您不買，過了雙11您可能掏150人家都不賣您了。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">原因出在之前我們彼此感情地位是一個(gè)程度，您老得罪我了，我現(xiàn)在是拿鼻孔看你的哦，你現(xiàn)在在我面前就是個(gè)小赤佬的地位，之前我可以因?yàn)槟阏f愿意留在北京而和解，大家歡天喜地，現(xiàn)在不一樣了，你就算讓我留在北京再給我20萬我也不高興了。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">說到底，你在感情生活里的每一個(gè)動作都在導(dǎo)致你們彼此感情地位的差異化。</span>差異多了，原來的價(jià)碼也就不作數(shù)了，再加上后續(xù)一堆的低姿態(tài)動作，感情結(jié)束也就進(jìn)入了流程。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">有時(shí)候一句話就是這么神奇，能讓你的生活翻天蓋地的發(fā)生大變化，剛才看到一個(gè)新聞，光明日報(bào)公開痛批俞敏洪，額...這事兒的代價(jià)可能已經(jīng)增長至千萬損失的級別了吧，但是對于普通人來講，一句花不至于幾千萬，可能會讓你痛失一份好工作或是一段感情。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">你有什么因?yàn)橐痪湓挾尭星橹毕氯С叩墓适拢梢栽诹粞园迳狭粞?，燃心一定第一時(shí)間回復(fù)。</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">精彩推薦：<p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">1. 燃心挽回守則</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">2.【挽回必看】燃心CQ21點(diǎn)挽回法則①</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">3.【挽回必看】燃心CQ 21點(diǎn)挽回法則②</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">4.【挽回必看】燃心CQ 21點(diǎn)挽回法則③</span><p class="rich_media_title" style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">5. 你的前任在想什么？看看頭像就知道了</span><p class="rich_media_title" style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">6. 90％的前任都會這樣跟新歡說起你</span><p class="rich_media_title" style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">7. 分手后，前任大概多久會找新歡</span></span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">8. 99％的前任都會跟朋友這樣聊起你</span><p style="clear: none;margin: 0px;padding: 0px"><p style="clear: none;margin: 0px;padding: 0px"><p style="clear: none;margin: 0px;padding: 0px">更多挽回文章請點(diǎn)擊公眾號菜單欄<p style="clear: none;margin: 0px;padding: 0px">【挽回指南】中的【燃心精選】查看<p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">PS：【燃心挽回】這是一個(gè)教你挽回感情，提升感情段位的公眾號，相互陪伴，共同成長，我是燃心，我們明天見咯~</span><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">據(jù)說用心生活的人<p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">都關(guān)注了我<p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px">咨詢微信：lsrx99<p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px"></div></div><div id="wsstnmvt" class="turn-small"></div><div id="wsstnmvt" class="sharing-box betip" data-aos="zoom-in"> <a class="be-btn-beshare be-btn-like use-beshare-like-btn" data-count="" rel="external nofollow"> <span 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